In today’s episode, we consider a question from a mom who is worried about her young son’s outbursts of temper. We discuss ways to help children who struggle with rage and volatility and list three steps to help children gain control of their big feelings and emotions.

Today’s question:

“My 7-year-old child has started saying things like ‘I hate you’ and ‘I wish I was dead’ when he is angry and upset. His rage escalates when he’s upset, and it scares me. I guess I’m both fearful for him, and honestly, frustrated by his outbursts.  Bad interactions with him drain all of my energy and upset his two siblings. I’m worried this behavior will get worse with time and that he will grow up to be someone who can’t control his emotions. When do I need to worry that he’ll actually hurt himself or others? And what can I do to help him? And all of us?”

Resources, Links, and Questions:

• Listen on Apple and Spotify
• Review the 3 steps Jeffrey presents on the episode:

• 1. Name the problem in a relaxed context
  2. Identify options for it occurs
  3. Debrief with your child the next time it happens

• Join the Growing Connected community discussion about this question
• Order The 6 Needs of Every Child: Empowering Parents & Kids through the Science of Connection

Questions to ask your kids and discuss with your family:

• When this boy says he hates his mom, what do you think he could mean?
• Has there ever been a time when you were really angry at me or someone else you loved? What helped you feel better?
• When we’re angry, what are some words we can use that don’t hurt other people?
• Will you pray for this family with me? And for other families who are having a hard time right now?